I am trying to keep a positive mental attitude, really I am. But June 2012 has been a pretty rubbish month so far, and not just this continuous rain!
It started by having to tell my partner it was over after discovering some adulterous behaviour I was not happy with (if you ever wondered if websites for people in relationships to go and seek affairs actually exist, I can sadly confirm they do). This is my polite synopsis! Under 2 weeks later and he has moved out.
Luckily the kiddies seem to be fine and happily accepting of the situation. Although it has meant my little boy has taken the opportunity to sneak into mummy’s bed in the middle of the night! Would be quite cute if he wasn’t such a little fidget 😉
I visited my parents last week to give both of us some space and whilst out shopping with them had my purse pick pocketed. This made trying to set up payments for my new bill situation rather tricky to say the least. As did trying to draw cash with only an out of date passport. Although I did not have enough cash to cover the weekly shop and had to give back several items to the cashier whilst getting dirty looks from the couple next in the queue (and no I was definitely not just being paranoid!).
The rain seems to be making my hayfever worse, HOW is that possible?!
Anyway, I have been taking a day at a time, learning that being calm and positive is much better for both my spirit but more importantly the kiddies.
But now I feel I am having a bit of a wobble. I went to the Dr’s today and while there I asked about a lump I had found last month but I put down to time of the month. Unfortunately it was with the Dr well known in the community as having NO bedside manner. Not ideal but I had prepared myself for him to say there was nothing in a rather condescending way, not for him to casually say as I am dressing again; “Yes I agree with you. But don’t worry, it’s small enough they will easily be able to chop it out”. I don’t know what shocked me more, the fact he agreed that there was a lump or his incredible lack of bedside manner!
I am trying to keep positive and not think about the big “C” but my mum had breast cancer in her early 40’s, as well as her aunt, and my grandma had bladder cancer so there is some quite strong family history there.
I go for the appointment next Monday so luckily not too long to wait thank goodness.
Ironically my ex who is rubbish at emotional support (especially if linked to health matters) has been really lovely, although in some ways is making me worry more as he must be thinking it could be the big “C” too.
I am really hoping that it will just be a little harmless cyst and that I have just had a reminder of how we must never take life for granted as you never know what is round the corner.
Roll on July I say! 😉