Pot of gold…

Yesterday I found a pot of gold. Not an actual pot, but I had some great news.

Last week I found a lump in my left breast and went to the Dr’s. He agreed with me and referred me to the breast clinic. I had the appointment yesterday morning. It was a very long wait in the waiting room, I spent most of it looking around thinking about how some of us were going to be facing a new battle.

When my turn was up I went to see the Dr for an examination, and he felt that it was probably nothing to worry about but that an ultrasound would confirm things. An hour and a half wait and I had an ultrasound with a very nice female doctor and although she could see a very small shape, thought it was a lymph node that had been inflamed. All within healthy proportions. Come back in 6 months to review but sooner if I had any concerns.

What an amazing relief. I had been trying to be positive but was also feeling as though my life was on hold until I knew what the outcome was going to be.

I feel I can start to plan mine and the kiddies future again. I also realise that to give my kids the best possible life I need to be healthy too, so my health is very much back on the agenda. Whatever I am feeling emotionally from my relationship ending I owe it to my kiddies to be in the best possible health, both mentally and physically.

Time to dig out those running shoes again…



Today I choose… juicing!

I have just extravagantly bought myself a juicer. Not just any old juicer but a Matstone Juicer in Burgandy: http://pollynoble.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/Matstone_burgundy_1000.jpg

VERY excited. Something I was going to buy last year but my partner just rubbished the idea so I didn’t go for it. Now he has left I can juice as much as I damn well please! !

My daughter is a bit sad they don’t do it in pink but has settled for red as second choice 😉

I have also been inspired to juice by the lovely Polly Noble http://pollynoble.com who I read about last year, and introduced my friend to who is currently courageously fighting pancreatic cancer.

At the time I realised that I should start to change my diet and live healthier etc… as there is a very strong history of cancer in my family and my friend getting ill was a real reminder that no one is immune from this horrid disease. However, aside from doing a bit more exercise and cutting down on alcohol that was about it. And I made sure me and the kids ate a bit more fruit and veg.

With my latest health scare I realise that I want to give myself the best chance of fighting the disease, or of prevention if this is a false alarm.

Even taking this little first step I feel so much more empowered than sadly looking at my children playing thinking there may be a chance I won’t see them grow up.

Now to do a grocery shop for juicing ingredients!

Light at the end of… June?

I am trying to keep a positive mental attitude, really I am. But June 2012 has been a pretty rubbish month so far, and not just this continuous rain!

It started by having to tell my partner it was over after discovering some adulterous behaviour I was not happy with (if you ever wondered if websites for people in relationships to go and seek affairs actually exist, I can sadly confirm they do). This is my polite synopsis! Under 2 weeks later and he has moved out.

Luckily the kiddies seem to be fine and happily accepting of the situation. Although it has meant my little boy has taken the opportunity to sneak into mummy’s bed in the middle of the night! Would be quite cute if he wasn’t such a little fidget 😉

I visited my parents last week to give both of us some space and whilst out shopping with them had my purse pick pocketed. This made trying to set up payments for my new bill situation rather tricky to say the least. As did trying to draw cash with only an out of date passport. Although I did not have enough cash to cover the weekly shop and had to give back several items to the cashier whilst getting dirty looks from the couple next in the queue (and no I was definitely not just being paranoid!).

The rain seems to be making my hayfever worse, HOW is that possible?!

Anyway, I have been taking a day at a time, learning that being calm and positive is much better for both my spirit but more importantly the kiddies. 

But now I feel I am having a bit of a wobble. I went to the Dr’s today and while there I asked about a lump I had found last month but I put down to time of the month. Unfortunately it was with the Dr well known in the community as having NO bedside manner. Not ideal but I had prepared myself for him to say there was nothing in a rather condescending way, not for him to casually say as I am dressing again; “Yes I agree with you. But don’t worry, it’s small enough they will easily be able to chop it out”. I don’t know what shocked me more, the fact he agreed that there was a lump or his incredible lack of bedside manner!

I am trying to keep positive and not think about the big “C” but my mum had breast cancer in her early 40’s, as well as her aunt, and my grandma had bladder cancer so there is some quite strong family history there.

I go for the appointment next Monday so luckily not too long to wait thank goodness.

Ironically my ex who is rubbish at emotional support (especially if linked to health matters) has been really lovely, although in some ways is making me worry more as he must be thinking it could be the big “C” too.

I am really hoping that it will just be a little harmless cyst and that I have just had a reminder of how we must never take life for granted as you never know what is round the corner.

Roll on July I say! 😉